DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?