ooooooooooooo i'm drink
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.