Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him