She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.