Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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