I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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