How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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