I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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