yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
