whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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