fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
