My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
