It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Randomize
