fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Rumble strips road head = magical
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
