That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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