I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Randomize
