the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
