you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
