That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
