seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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