it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
