I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
