even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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