your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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