She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
