U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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