I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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