whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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