she woke up with a sticky ear
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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