No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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