And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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