Yo dont text me then not text me
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
two words: eviction party
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
