I like my sex mixed with concussions.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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