Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
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My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
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I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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