Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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