What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
