Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
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