Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
