fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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