you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
