Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
