dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
