Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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