i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
