u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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