she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
