I'm eating all of the evidence.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize