What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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