My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
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You left your underwear on the fireplace
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
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There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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