you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
