How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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