Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
