I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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