help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
