Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Sext me about skeletons
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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