i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
