Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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