That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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