Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
