the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
