I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
