Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
